"Light His Fire" by Ellen Kreidman

Well, Kreidman promised that doing the stuff in this book would make Tarver bring me flowers, candy, jewelry and even make him propose!

Boy was she wrong in the face!

I think I wasn't the intended audience. I'm pretty sure that even at 2 years, our relationship is too young for this book. BUT it did provide some excellent insight for my new career. Though Kreidman doesn't seem to believe in credentials (she even says that she thinks they should invent a new degree for people who've learned from experience) she has a lot to say about relationships that makes a lot of sense.

And some of it is crap. But some of it makes a lot of sense.

The parts that are crap, is that this book seems to think everyone has money. No, it is not possible for us to take a week-long vacation. Sorry. One date night a week? I think not, ma'am. This may sound harmless "maybe she just means have a romantic dinner at home!" No, she doesn't. She has a whole chapter about taking the vacations you want when you can still "enjoy" them. She describes 80-year-olds in Fiji and how some of them are nearly blind and some are in wheelchairs. She literally encourages you go to on vacation "on plastic."

However, she compares this to the cost of a divorce. In 1989, the year the book was written (Relationships have not changed in 20 years, kids, believe it.) she estimates that 5 years worth of "great" vacations is about as expensive as one divorce. Money-wise. Of course no credit-card bill is ever worth a divorce. I would make the argument that if there's something fundamentally wrong with your relationship-- a cruise ship isn't going to solve anything.

She does assert that women need to know who they are and love themselves before they can be in truly loving relationships, which I support. However, she's really sold on using materialistic ways to appreciate oneself. "Go shopping! Get a manicure!" she herself talks about how she got a spa installed in her backyard. Again, I think this book was meant for people who have $$$.

This was a short book, I finished it in about 2 hours. Now I can give it back to the 1/5 price bookstore-- right after I read the partner book "Light her fire." :)